Envisioning Our Future Family

As I've discussed at length on this blog the waiting and praying aspect of this pregnancy will not completely subside until we are holding a healthy baby in a few months. However, as time has passed and we have been reassured by doctors that things are looking very good, it is more comfortable for me to start thinking about what those first days following the delivery will look like. More importantly maybe, how will those first days feel. For some reason I have always been a "we shall see" kind of guy. Always looking forward. I am aware enough to live in the now as well, but my nature thought process involves dreaming of the future.

I find myself starting to do that again as the reality of this pregnancy sets in. My mindset to this point has been guarded. I refer to this mindset as cautious optimism. At some point, as expected, the cautious component has eroded a great deal in recent weeks. I sat in front of the television the other day before going to bed and I started thinking about what are family will be like come January 2010. I could not help but smile. I had our puppy, Eleanor, sleeping on my lap and the thought of a newborn baby in my mind.

As you can see the excitement is starting to break down the fear for both of us. Less than two weeks until our ultrasound. I have a hunch that we'll see a little girl in there, but I have no basis for that other than a gut feeling. I have five total nieces and nephews with four girls and one boy making up the group. All I care about at this or any point during the pregnancy is that baby and Karyn are healthy. However, on August 24th my mental picture of our quickly approaching future family will take on much more detail. Stayed tuned....