36 Weeks

Where is December going? It's been awhile since I wrote again...On Wednesday we had our 36 week visit and our last baby class :) Besides doing the strep B test, the visit was routine. As he was checking the position of the little guy to make sure he is still head down he said, "oh, you're having a contraction now." And since then, I have been having many contractions. They come and go, and are not consistant, but I like to think this little guy wants to come early so he doesn't miss out on all the Christmas Fun!!! I guess time will tell. The contractions are usually in the evening, so it makes my relaxing time pretty non existant. Not to mention, we always seem to have things to do around the house or errands to run so I don't have much down time. Especially with still working over 40 hours a week. My ankles sure are swollen at the end of the day. Its a good thing its winter or I am sure it would be 10x worse! My biggest complaint in the past couple weeks have been my lack of sleep. I have a very difficult time getting comfortable, and when I do it seems like one of my many bathroom trips is just around the corner. And secondly, because of swelling, my hands go numb quite easily. Its difficult to sleep on your side when your hands go numb from doing so. In the morning my joints feel like an 80 year old with arthritis. They are painful to open and close because of the swelling. Let's just say that I'd much rather be up with a baby than up due to swelling and peeing :)

Tonight we had a baby shower with Nate's co-workers. We got some very nice gifts and must have gotten some motivation to get the babys room finished because dare I say it, but I think the nursery is DONE!!! It has been quite the project, which Nate has spent the majority of the time on, but I think it turned out really nice. I will have to take on the project of washing everything in the next couple weeks. I started the bedding tonight. I will post some pictures of the belly and the nursery as soon as I get around to it.
We start seeing the doctor weekly, so we'll have an update on any progress next week.
Stand By.....

34 weeks, 6 days (12/7/09 - my 27th bday)

Nursery and Third Trimester Beard Pictures

As promised here are some before and after pictures from the nursery:

BEFORE

AFTER

Please forgive the spots that appear on the photos. Our soon to be replaced digital camera has seen better days and those spots, I can assure you, are due to the camera lens and not due to my craftsmanship.

Last but not least here are some before and after beard pictures:

BEFORE (at my Grandma Helen's 90th Birthday party in September)

TODAY

Sharing in the Sacrifices

The title above is not intended to be taken literally unless you consider the growth of facial hair to be a real sacrifice. It appears that more background is required sooner as opposed to later or this post may spiral into oblivion before it gets started. About the time we hit the third trimester I decided that I need to do something to share in the physical sacrifices of a pregnancy. Karyn was feeling the baby all the time and space was at a premium in there. I cannot relate even remotely to the way a mother-to-be feels both physically and emotionally during a pregnancy, let alone as they hit the home stretch. But I wanted to do something to exhibit my support in an external sense.

My idea was to grow a third trimester beard. This is akin to the playoff beards that hockey players grow as they make their run towards the Stanley Cup. Quite honestly the process started out of laziness one weekend in October and I haven't looked back since. Once again I am currently without photos to substantiate my current physical condition and I know that owe nursery room pictures as well. So I will post the evidence this evening when I get home from work. That is assuming we don't get snowed in this evening because they predict 9-12 inches of snow tonight and tomorrow.

Nursery is Done... Well almost done

If the nursery project is any indication of a hypothetical career in general carpentry I must regrettably accept the fact that I would starve. I say that not because I failed to produce a solid work product, but because it took me forever to do it. A large part of me rationalizes this by saying that it isn't my 9-5 gig so time is always limited. There is a great deal of truth to that. However, the other aspect is the number of times I simply chose to do something else, i.e. relaxing, playing video games, sleeping, etc. In the end I cannot even begin to tell you how much time I did spend in the nursery over the last month and change. Now, as the project nears completion, I can also not accurately communicate how happy I am that I did spend all that time on it.

Throughout the process I received a great deal of help from both Karyn and Eleanor. Obviously Karyn helped in a more substantive manner, but I was surprised by Eleanor's ability to paint by rubbing up against the walls. In case you were wondering, paint washes out of a dog's hair surprisingly well and Eleanor absolutely loves eating dried paint and chair rail modeling pieces.

With the project nearing the finish line we assembled the crib last night. That was easiest part of the project to far and it still took 45 minutes or so. The moral of the story is this: Every project will take longer and be more difficult than you could ever imagine. This isn't the first time I have learned that lesson. Unfortunately, it is an easy lesson to forget and that usually happens right about the time you are starting a new project.

I wish I had some pictures to post showing the finished product but I'll have to follow-up tonight when I am back at home. The room still isn't put back together because I have some touching up to do, but I'll get that done tonight.

As I mentioned above, when I looked around the room last night I was very happy to have spent the time that I did on the project. I am thankful for the opportunity to do things like this and for the opportunity to dream about baby D's first nights in his new home. It might not be the best example of high-level carpentry, but it has been completed with love and the best intentions.

Where did November Go?

This isn't news to anyone but time really does fly by. I can't believe that November is already in the rear view mirror. So hear we are on the doorstep of December and there is still so much left to do. The good news is that I am used to being up against a deadline so we should be fine.

December is going to be a big month around our house. Karyn's birthday is the 7th. My sister, Alicia's birthday is the 11th. MaryAnn and the kids come into town on the 20th. I could go on an on. We obviously don't know when the little man will grace us with his entry into our world, but I'm not foreclosing on the possibility that it will also be in the month of December.

Before looking ahead too much I'd like to look back for just a bit. The last few weeks have been pretty hectic. Karyn is working a bunch and we've been busy at the firm. It's not surprising then that time has really flown by. Karyn, Eleanor and I had a great Thanksgiving yesterday. You can see from this photo that both of them pitched in around the kitchen. What you cannot see is that Eleanor was rewarded for her efforts with a Thanksgiving dinner of her own. This year we scaled back our cooking since we couldn't find a turkey smaller than 12 lbs. So we went with a small cornish game hen and a turkey breast roast. Of course we had potatoes, stuffing, gravy, creamed corn, rolls and pumpkin pie. Not surprisingly I barely managed to make it through the desert portion of the meal before taking a nap on the couch. Also not surprising was the fact that Eleanor decided to join nap time.

Plans for Christmas in Stoughton 2009 have ramped up in recent days. I am really looking forward to having the family together again this year. You never know, we may one more mouth to feed for Christmas. I just hope I get the nursery done before then...

32 Weeks

Happy Fall! We have been blessed with fantastic weather in November. We have had plenty of 50+ degree weather and in a state where it could easily be in the 20's by this time we are fully enjoying the "heat wave" Nate even got out and golfed on November 8th and it was in the 70's. I went up to Oshkosh that day and had lunch with a friend. And then we walked through the outlet mall. She is due at the beginning of December so it was the last time we'll get together before she becomes a mom! Eleanor has been enjoying taking walks (long ones since its not too cold) and playing outside as we FINALLY finished raking all of our leaves yesterday. It was another sunny and beautiful day.

Last weekend we were in St. Charles, IL for one of my best friends Wedding. It was a lot of fun to see some of the high school girls and spend some time on the dance floor. The wedding was beautiful. I slept like a rock that night! We had to get up early to get back and pick up our puppy from the kennel. It was her first time at a kennel. I could hardly stand dropping her off before we left town - How in the world will I be able to drop our little guy off when I have to work everyday??

On Nov. 19th, Nate celebrated his 31st birthday.... Where does the time go? We both had a busy day at work and instead of going out to dinner at the restaurant I picked, Nate decided on his favorite place: Buffalo Wild Wings. There was a football game on and David and one of his friends met us there. Needless to say, it was very laid back. I had to of course get his favorite cake: Dairy Queen ice cream cake. Now we just need to have some people over to help us eat it!!! I am hoping to go get his big birthday present today.

On Friday, Nov. 20th some of my work friends had a baby shower for me. It was so nice of them and they were very sneaky and pulled off interviewing Nate prior to the shower for one of the games we played. And the cake was delicious :)

Nate and I started our 6 week long Child Birth and Prep class 3 weeks ago. We both feel like the class could be done in less than an hour, but our instructor manages to fill 2.5+ hours!!!! It's not something I would ever do again. But, the last 3 classes cover more "baby" topics so Nate is hoping to get some helpful information. Today we are taking a tour of the hospital we will be having baby D at. This whole baby thing is getting more real as each week passes. I read last night in on of my baby books that our little guy is around 4 lbs and 18 inches! And IF he were to be born now, there is nearly 100% survival rate with a healthy life expectancy... So that helps me breathe a little easier :)

Our 32 week doctor visit was non eventful. I gained about 2 lbs since my 28 week appointment. My doctor said that for now my platelet level is stable so he is not too concerned as of right now. I will start seeing him every 2 weeks now, until 36 weeks, then appointments will be weekly.

I am starting to have swelling in my feet at the end of the day - I am sure it doesn't help that I rarely sit down during the day. But, I just hope it doesn't turn into cankles! :) I sleep well but have noticed I am getting up a few more times to use the bathroom. And I do feel a bit more tired the past few weeks. Our boy is most active in the evening, followed by the morning, followed by lunch time. He is fairly quiet during the other times. It will be interesting to see if this will be his schedule once out of the womb. Right now, he and Eli wake up at about the same time in the morning... pretty convenient if that continues :) All in all though, things seem to be going just fine!

32 weeks, 5 days: (11/22/09)

28-30 weeks

Hi Everyone!!! Happy Belated Halloween. I was thinking how much fun it will be next year to dress the little guy up in a costume! Well, it's been a couple weeks again already since I last wrote and quite a lot has been going on. Let's see where to start...

On Wednesday October 21st, I had my 28 week doctor visit. I gained about another 4 lbs. since last visit, bringing my grand total right around 12 lbs. The doctor said that my belly is measuring right around 28 weeks so the baby must be growing right on schedule. Which, during all my baby reading lately, the baby seems to certainly putting on inches and pounds!! There is one thing the doctor is somewhat concerned about - It appears that my platelet count is low. When I had my blood work done while they were screening for my blood glucose test apparently they found out my platelet count was about 120,000. During pregnancy it is normal to have lower platelet levels, but mine are low, even for the normal pregnancy range.

At my visit they drew my blood again and said my values are stable for now, but they will continue to monitor them for the rest of the pregnancy. And if I were to go to the hospital, they will have to draw my blood and get my platelet count before having any anesthesia - mainly epidural (to be certain I wouldn't bleed out) So, I will keep you posted. Hopefully I won't have anything to worry about. The doctor also told me I don't have to come back at 30 weeks for a visit. I don't see him again until 32 weeks. FYI: I have mixed emotions about this...

On Thursday October 22 (Jake's bday) my mom and Conner (nephew) flew in. They were unfortunately delayed 5 hours, but made it nonetheless. My sister Kalyn also arrived from college. We spent Friday doing some shopping (not baby shopping really, MOM shopping) Kalyn and I both had heels on - BIG mistake. Who knew mom was a shop til you drop type all of a sudden :)

On Saturday October 24 my family (Kate, Kalyn, Courtney, Ali and Mom) had a baby shower for me. It was perfect - not too big and with great food.... and my carrot cake from Carl's Cakes! YUM. I got to see some extended family, some friends and some co-workers too. However, I missed Leah, Meli and Emma who were unable to be there. I was overwhelmed by all the "baby gear" we got, and overwhelmed by everyones generosity!! This little boy is lucky to have so many people who already love him. We got so many books - I can't wait to read to the little man.

Nate continues to work on the nursery, but at his own pace. Which means we have a ways to go :) I am anxious to get the whole room put together but it looks like I have at le

ast a few weeks to wait. I am trying to be patient.... I said TRYING.

Our little boy continues to be very active. It is so much fun to watch my whole stomach move as he flips and turns around. I feel like we are both already starting to feel like we have no space left, which isn't a good sign since we have 10 weeks left. I wish I knew what body parts I was feeling because he is definitely able to be felt. Nate tells me to stop poking at him - I push on different parts of my stomach because he'll move away from me :)

Tonight we spent over an hour raking the leaves in the front of our house - not the sides or the backyard. Good exercise, but hard. Work is continuing to go well. My back is still sore at times, but nothing too severe. I haven't noticed any swelling in my feet yet. Sleep continues to be hit or miss. For about the past week I have had a bad cough. It makes sleep even more difficult. I hope it goes away soon or I may call the doctor just to be certain its not something more serious.

28 weeks, 1 day (10/21/09)

30 weeks, 5 days: (11/8/09)

On to the Nursery

Well I finally finished my work in the second extra bedroom last night. That means my focus can now shift to the baby's room. The good news is that this will be the last room in the house that will need painting for the foreseeable future. We've decided to have the husband of one of Karyn's co-workers give us a quote for the wainscotting that we want in the nursery. We were initially going to do it ourselves but our better judgment kicked in before we got too far into the construction project. It isn't that we couldn't do it ourselves. It is more that we probably shouldn't do it ourselves for a variety of reasons.

In any event, the first part of the project is repainting all of the walls. I'm tentatively scheduled for a Saturday start time. With any luck I should be able to get the room done this weekend, but that might be too ambitious since it is a big room with a vaulted ceiling. Actually, I am not sure if it is a vaulted or cathedral ceiling, but the walls extend pretty high in place. Either way it will be a fun project. Once the painting is done the contractor will install the 4 foot wainscotting over the newly painted walls. He is also planning to transform the lower portion of a built-in shelving area into a built-in toy chest. I'm really looking forward to seeing the end result of Karyn's plan for the nursery. I have a feeling she has been inspired to some extent by Jeff Lewis from Bravo's Flipping Out. The show is ridiculous, but I have to admit that it is hilarious at times.

To keep up with Karyn's use of pictures on this blog I will take some before, during and after pictures of the nursery. I just remembered something that has put a slight damper on my spirits. Unfortunately, the nursery is not my last painting project for the year. I need to repaint/stain/protect/whatever the outside stairs and decks as well. I better get that done soon as the temperatures have really dropped lately. Well wish me luck.

26+ weeks

Hi! Here we are, at 26 weeks and 4 days...

I am continuing to try and enjoy every moment of being pregnant, especially because I know it will be over before I know it!! However, I do have a couple complaints:

1. I have an ache in my lower thoracic spine on the R that will not subside.... at least, not for long. I have been using my foam roller to try and manipulate that area, a tennis ball over that spot when I drive or sit, and I have been begging Nate to try and crack my back. Where are my "big" younger brothers when I need them?!?!?

2. I have to preface this one by saying I am so happy that this has only happened 3 times. In the middle of the night/early morning I have gotten the worse leg cramp/charlie horse EVER. The first time had me in tears, and subsequent ones have been bad. Luckily, the cramp doesn't last long, but oh my goodness!! I continue to be most comfortable sleeping on my back and wonder if this has anything to do with it? I try and drink a lot of water, but maybe I need to guzzle down a few more glasses and see if that helps...

3. I get short of breath doing just about anything, including talking on the phone....while sitting still...

4. I have officially lost my mind!!! Example: This past Sunday I went to the grocery store for a few things (I even made a list) However, before I left I didn't check to see if we needed spaghetti sauce. So, when I was just about done with everything on my list (and a piece of cake that wasn't on the list) I called Nate to see if we needed sauce. After checking, he said "yes." I hung up and went over to get spaghetti noodles (last thing on the list) and the sauce. I must have been overwhelmed by picking out noodles because I completely forgot about the sauce. I did realize it when I was being checked out, but by that time it was too late. When I got home, Nate started unpacking the bags and said, "Where is the spaghetti sauce?" Need I say more...

I love that the little guy continues to be very active, and he has developed a sense of humor - He can be moving all over, kicking, punching, doing somersaults etc. and as soon as I have Nate come and feel, he STOPS. And then when Nate stops trying to feel, he starts up again. He either is stubborn or is completely relaxed and calmed by his father. Hopefully it's the latter - I can about imagine that will come in handy when he needs to be soothed at 2 in the morning :)

We all of a sudden have been thrown into VERY COLD weather. Seriously, I think I heard tonight we will be down in the 20's! I am thinking its just about time for fires in the fireplace and warm cozy clothes to come out. My dad, mom and 3 youngest siblings are in Orlando, FL for the week. I initially took the week of work to be there too. However, once I found out I was pregnant I decided to save my vacation time until the baby was here. Too bad because it'd be awful nice to be in 90 degree weather right about now! Have a great time family!!

25 Weeks

Hi Everyone! We just crossed over the 25 week mark...Baby Boy Dosch continues to be very active and is getting more forceful!!! After being in the car for over 11 hours this past Sunday (will explain in a minute) I think he was just as anxious as I to get out of the car at the end of the day. His kicking was the strongest I have felt yet!

So, why were we in a car for 11+ hours? Over the weekend we went back to Nate's hometown of Devils Lake, ND for a very special event: Grandma Helen turned 90!!! We were lucky to have wonderful weather, which is never a given in ND from what I hear. We were able to see all of Nate's family (minus his dad). It had been quite awhile since seeing most of them and it was great to catch up. The down side: Never having enough time. The weekend flew by. Nate's nieces and nephew have grown up so much in the past year - and with all the girls around, baby Alayna got passed from one to the other all weekend! Nate even got in a bit more practice :)

On Monday I had my 1 hour glucose test done. I called today to get the results and the nurse informed me that my level (110) was normal. So, yeah!!! I get to keep craving sweets. Luckily, the craving hasn't been too long lived, nor am I acting on those cravings - often :) Thankfully or I'd feel even bigger than I already do!

*I do look forward to carrot cake from Carl's Cakes for the baby shower though.

20-24 weeks

Wow! I can't believe its been almost a month since I last blogged... Is blogged even a word? Hmm. Anyway, we've had a busy couple weeks. On Sept 2nd baby and I flew to NC for a nice extended weekend to see the family over Labor Day. Nate and the dog stayed home. Nate did some "boy things" and even got some stuff done around the house. He finished painting one of the guest bedrooms and started on the other. I told him I wanted to get these two rooms done before tackling the nursery. It's nice to be almost done with both of them!!! And then on to much more enjoyable work. Anything involving the baby is enjoyable, no? Baby and I had a good visit in NC. We had wonderful weather, spending a little bit of time at the pool everyday we were there. The little guy really started moving much more while we were there. Emma, Meli, and Mom all got the chance to feel those movements! We did some shopping and went out to eat a lot...What else is new, right? In addition, we had about 10 different people throwing out boy names all weekend!!! Meli likes Josh... but I can promise it won't be that! But I love the enthusiasm. So, Thanks all! 

Work has been really busy for me lately. I am working long days and my patients are particularly challenging. The only upside, which is slight, is that my days fly by. I say this is only slight because I want to enjoy every minute of being pregnant. Unfortunately, September is almost over and I just can't believe it. 

This past weekend Nate, David and I drove up to Appleton topick up the furniture for the little guys room. And guess what? I like it just as much as I did when I ordered it about 2 months ago. I have been spending some time (LOTS) on trying to decide what bedding to order... I keep going back and forth. I do know that we will be painting the room navy and be putting up white wainscoting. That is our October Plan. Nate just doesn't know it yet :) 

                                                                                                           Belly Picture Today! 23 wks, 6 days

Tomorrow I will be 24 weeks! I had my 24 week visit today. I have to schedule my glucose test for early next week. Otherwise, it seems like everything is going just according to schedule. I gained 4 lbs since my last visit. The heart rate was again at 140 bpm. The little guy sure is active and getting stronger. I love feeling him move (even at 3 in the morning). Nate already talks sports - mainly golf - with him. He seems to enjoy his dads voice. 

Below are some pictures from our busy September... ENJOY! 

Me: at 23 weeks, 4 days

Nathan John Dosch, Jr?

First things first, this post title is both rhetorical and an impossibility. I put it out there even though I abandoned that campaign months ago because it still creates a stir around the Dosch house. As difficult as it is for me to formally recognize this, the fact is that January 2010 will not see the arrival of N. John Jr. Now that we have that issue settled we can address more important things like baby furniture, painting, wainscoting, and the upcoming Christmas to Remember - Wisconsin style.

As you can see from Karyn's previous post, our latest US showed that "it" is a "he." I was probably more surprised by Karyn's reaction than she was. I was surprised by my own reaction as well. I understand that a mom-to-be thinks about having a girl and a dad-to-be thinks about having a boy, so I get the momentary letdown that this news can have on a mother. It didn't last very long though. Karyn was able to adapt on the fly as she mentioned in her post. The girl's clothes is now packed away again. In their place we have a new collection of little boy's cloths including a very impressive tiny shoe collection. The little man is 24/25 weeks along and he has more shoes than I do. I'd say he has just as many shoes as his mom, but that would be a lie. His mother has taken shoe hoarding to a remarkable level.

When I heard the news last month I was, well, I'm not sure what I was. Initially all I could think about was how happy I was that everything was still going well. I always said I didn't have a preference between a boy or a girl. I just want the baby to be healthy. That hasn't changed a bit. But when I heard it was a little boy in there I couldn't help but think of all that entails. I don't think I am unlike many dads when I think about all the things I hope to teach my son. I hope to have the opportunity to also teach a daughter some of those things in the future. In either respect I hope they are okay with not being able to beat their dad on the golf course until I'm approximately 70 years old.

All and all I am just very happy that we have positive news and hope to grasp as we race into the third trimester.

It's a BOY!!!

On Monday, August 24th, we had our 20 week ultrasound. I have to say, despite it lasting over an hour, most of the time is a blur. Partly because the US technician was busy taking measurements so she really didn't say much, but also because once I heard, "I wonder what that is?" (Her being subtle about the fact that she saw the penis), all that kept going through my mind was, "A Boy? What am I going to do with a boy?" It still hasn't fully set in yet I don't think. Prior to the US, I was thinking it was going to be a boy but hoping for a girl. Every girl wants a girl, right? I guess it wasn't until after hearing it was a boy though that I realized just how much I was looking forward to having a girl.... Needless to say, I came home after finishing work, and the first thing I did was start looking for boy clothes on line. (And cleaning out the baby closet of all the girl clothes in it) I have to state my ongoing disappointment with my health insurance. I was hoping to come home with several US pictures - feet, hands, etc. Apparently, all I get is a profile picture. (The technician said that's all they give, despite taking 90+ images) And, no 4D images at all. So, I think I may look into those US places that you can go to and pay for out of pocket. I just would love to see more of the baby, and also have more pictures! Below is the Little Guy. On most measurements he was measuring farther along than what I am. And the biggest measurement?? THE HEAD - measuring in at 20w6d. He really must be taking after his father already. (And I mean in the cocky sense, not figuratively) I will let Nate speak for himself about his reaction to finding out he'll have a boy, but my very first thought was (as I looked over to Nate, dressed in shorts and a polo because he was golfing afterward) this little boy dressed in a polo with a golf club in hand. Wonder where he'll get it from.... :) 

19 weeks

19 weeks! I am so anxious for our Ultrasound next Monday. First off, because the only ultrasound we had so far was at 7 weeks. And in case you're wondering - you don't see much of anything!! Secondly, because it will be so nice to know... and see that there is a reason to my ever expanding stomach. I am starting to have an increasing harder time "hiding" the fact that I am pregnant. Especially by the end of the day - I swear my stomach doubles in size!!! Not only that, but after I eat it gets soooo hard! I have no more room in my belly at bedtime. The books have to be wrong - this baby has to be more than 6.5 inches by now :) On the plus side, each day I know this baby is growing and maturing, developing into what I pray will be a healthy and beautiful life we get to hold in the 

matter of months.

Below is a picture taken at 18 weeks, 4 days: A noticeable growth from the last one, huh? 

First "Real" Ultrasound in One Week

I put the real in quotes above because I am imagining the ultrasound that we have scheduled next Monday to be in line with the one's I have seen on television. Up to this point I have never witnessed one of those first hand. I certainly have never been a week away from knowing whether Karyn is carrying a boy or a girl in her belly. It's pretty crazy to think about. I was picturing the room and the monitor last night. What I didn't picture was any of the particulars of what I might be looking at or what I might be feeling. But I can say that I'm not scared anymore. It is going to be however it is going to be. That sentence sounds like it doesn't make sense, but I believe it is quite possibly the truest statement that will be uttered on this blog. The images, the gender, the health, etc. are not dependent on the actions of Karyn or I. In fact, at this stage they may not be dependent on anyone or anything. Even God's plan is well in motion by this stage. If He chose for us to be blessed at this point, we will be. If not, we stay the course and keep the faith.

I guess you could say that I have found a nice amount of faith and contentedness in this journey. I could never promise that things will be okay even though I say it all the time. I only know that something will result and sometimes whatever will be will be. That reminds me of something: Que sera sera:

This week will feel longer than seven days. Next Monday will not be the most pleasant morning to wake up in the world. But it will happen and it will be great.

Envisioning Our Future Family

As I've discussed at length on this blog the waiting and praying aspect of this pregnancy will not completely subside until we are holding a healthy baby in a few months. However, as time has passed and we have been reassured by doctors that things are looking very good, it is more comfortable for me to start thinking about what those first days following the delivery will look like. More importantly maybe, how will those first days feel. For some reason I have always been a "we shall see" kind of guy. Always looking forward. I am aware enough to live in the now as well, but my nature thought process involves dreaming of the future.

I find myself starting to do that again as the reality of this pregnancy sets in. My mindset to this point has been guarded. I refer to this mindset as cautious optimism. At some point, as expected, the cautious component has eroded a great deal in recent weeks. I sat in front of the television the other day before going to bed and I started thinking about what are family will be like come January 2010. I could not help but smile. I had our puppy, Eleanor, sleeping on my lap and the thought of a newborn baby in my mind.

As you can see the excitement is starting to break down the fear for both of us. Less than two weeks until our ultrasound. I have a hunch that we'll see a little girl in there, but I have no basis for that other than a gut feeling. I have five total nieces and nephews with four girls and one boy making up the group. All I care about at this or any point during the pregnancy is that baby and Karyn are healthy. However, on August 24th my mental picture of our quickly approaching future family will take on much more detail. Stayed tuned....

Weekend with Alayna, Alicia and Rusty

We just concluded a great weekend with Alayna, Alica and Rusty. We're so thankful that they made the trip up from Lincoln to visit us. Selfishly, it was too bad that the weather didn't cooperate yesterday. My baseball game was postponed to Monday, but we had the whole day to hang out. Alicia and Rusty were gracious enough to bring their P90x workout regime with for the weekend. We made it through the "motherload" workout, Plyometrics, on Saturday morning. Karyn got a kick out of it. I can only imagine how funny at times it was to watch us struggle through various segments. I've decided to enlist in the program as soon as I can get a copy of it shipped. Don't worry I won't post before and after photos on this site.

Anyway it was great to see the new baby and the new parents in action. Weekends like this make me really miss all of my family a great deal. Since this site will be limited to family I feel obligated to state or restate my open invitation to all of our family. You can visit at any time and we would strongly encourage you to think about relocating to the Madison area. I'll offer to help on both sides of the move if necessary.

17 Weeks

And another week flies by!! I am now 17 weeks and 2 days. The past few weeks have been trying for me: and to quantify this, I am not complaining - just documenting. I am hoping down the road this little one will wonder, "How was it being pregnant?" And I want to be able to remember, both the good and bad. So really, this is just for accuracy reasons :) About 2 weeks ago, because I was having such a tough time sleeping, I bought a body pillow. All in all, this has been a worthwhile purchase. I have to admit though, I still do not sleep well. Most nights I am still getting up 3-4 times to go to the bathroom. And after that, it takes me at times quite a long time to get comfortable again. However, last night I was able to sleep from about 10:30 until 5:00 am!! I wonder if its because I was tired after volleyball? If so, I should play every night. My wonderful husband has been opting for the couch most nights as of recent. I think its a win - win though: I can toss and turn and usually sleep better and Nate LOVES the couch. Believe me: I haven't even asked him to sleep somewhere else.... I think this was his suggestion! I am cranky when I get woken up by him after a bad night sleep.Just the past few days, I have been feeling a bit more nauseous in the morning, mainly when I am brushing my teeth. It goes away when I am done, but its still odd because that had not been happening for a long time now!
I feel really good almost all day long - baby must like my job: even all the bending, reaching, stretching, etc that it brings me. However, once I am done with work, we have an entirely different story. I start to become very uncomfortable in the evening. At times its even difficult for me to eat supper - yet I always manage to cram something in! My stomach starts to feel very hard with aches and pains galore! My doctor told me at my 16 week checkup that its due to ligament/muscles stretching. That means its going to get worse, huh? Ironically, I feel the best when I am lying on my stomach with a pillow under my stomach/chest area or lying flat on my back. The baby/belly doesn't enjoy much time on my sides, especially when I am already feeling achy.
Every once and awhile, I feel like I may be starting to feel the baby move??? And I try not to get too excited, seeing as how it may just be gas (yes, still lots of that feeling going on)!!!I am somewhat amazed that we're already at 17 weeks - only 3 more weeks until our next ultrasound! I am excited to find out if its a little boy or girl in my belly! Nate is convinced its going to be a girl, but I have no feelings one way or the other at all! And no crazy dreams or premonitions either....
Below is a picture taken on August 1, 2009 (16 weeks 4 days)

My regular clothes are starting to get uncomfortable. I still wear almost all my regular pants because maternity pants are just too big still - they almost make me look worse! I have definitely been wearing maternity tops at tops however! And thanks to my sister Kate, I just doubled my maternity wardrobe!! So, thanks!

Not so Hot!

WARNING: So lately, for about the past couple weeks, I have not enjoyed this whole pregnancy thing has not been very fun! And to think, everything I read tells me that you start feeling better during the second trimester. Well, this hasn't been the case for me yet! I have started getting pretty regular headaches, which are miserable. I have continued to have an unbelievable amount of bloating/gassy feelings. Rolaids are helpful at times, but nighttime is the worse. I was thinking it was maybe because I was eating too close to going to bed, but changing my ways still hasn't made a difference. It is very hard for me to get comfortable, and I seem to toss and turn throughout the whole night. I am also having increased "cramping" type pains in my sides. I suppose this is because my stomach is trying to allow space for a baby but right now it sure is uncomfortable.

So, moral of this post: Not sleeping well and not feeling well makes for a crabby Karyn. And Nate makes it worse. BEWARE!

15 weeks

It's been some time since I wrote, but I promise its been for good reason. We have been very busy lately. Here's a small recap.
1. On July 1, 209 (at 12 weeks) I had a doctor appointment. Finally, with the actual doctor this time. It was good to meet him. Although, as I think I've said before, we have no guarantee that he will be delivering our little one. He was pretty friendly and answered our questions. Although, I know for sure that my "pregnancy brain" has kicked in because the few questions I wanted to ask didn't get asked. Or maybe because at this visit we heard our baby's heartbeat for the FIRST time. We were caught up with hearing that wonderful sound, and getting some much needed reassurance. The doctor said the heartbeat was around 150 bpm. And he also told us that our risk of miscarriage at this point has dropped significantly, from about 25% to 5%. He also told us that he feels confident we can share our news with people now!!!
2. On July 3, 2009 we flew to Arcadia for a week+ vacation. Much needed, I must say. We were able to see all my immediate family, except my older sister. We had pretty good weather and besides that just did a lot of relaxation. It's funny to me that all those summer drinks now look so appealing!! We shared our good news with all my brothers and sisters. And swore them all to secrecy. My second youngest sister thinks like me: She wanted to know if we were sure if the baby "would actually come this time?" All we can do is pray.
3. While over in MI, Nate and I decided to take a couple days and visit Macinac Island. We had very nice weather, did a lot of walking.... and some eating of course. And despite having a haunted room at our bed and breakfast (#7) we had a good time seeing the sites and traveling back in time.
4. On July 16, 2009 (back home) my Grandma and Aunt came to have lunch and see our new house. It was so nice to see them. It had been about 6 months since I had seen my grandma. Plus, I was able to tell her, in person, our great news. My grandma has been very supportive after our past struggles. And for my birthday this past year, had given my a "hope angel". I think of her every time I see it. And believe me, we have much to be hopeful for!
5. On July 17, 2009, Nate and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. How does that happen? Time flies. Because I haven't been feeling well lately I wasn't up to do much. We did go to a movie (UP) and then grabbed an appetizer (or 2) afterward. I thought at one point that this will be our last anniversary before parenthood. I get more excited everyday!!!

Below are some pictures of our past few weeks. Enjoy!

  

10 weeks

10 weeks already.... sadly it really is more like, "Only 10 weeks?" 

Apparently, this is what 10 weeks brings us: Baby’s crown to rump length is 2.5-3.0 cm. Your baby weighs about 3-5 grams. All of your baby’s organ systems are present now. Your baby’s facial features are formed now. Right now, your baby’s head is very large in comparison to the rest of her body. Your baby’s head makes up half of your baby’s size.

This past weekend we had the opportunity to see my sister and her husband, and their son Connor. Also, my sister Kalyn came over. WHY? To assist me in baby-sitting Conner for the day while Kate and Patrick were at a wedding. He is already almost 4 months old. And lets just say, it was a good experience. To add to our chaos, Nate and I have a new 4-legged baby. We adopted an 8 week old puppy from the humane society. Her name is Eleanor. Not only have we already had to take her to the vet for IV fluids, and antibiotics, she is now growing into a real handful. They say a puppy is good experience for a baby. If so, I am in trouble! I don't have the most patience for her. Especially when I just get in from taking her outside and she pees on the floor 2 minutes later. GRRR. 

A couple pictures are posted below: 

8 Weeks

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. My mom called today while I was at work and informed me, "8 down, 32 to go." Thanks, right?!?! I am continuing to not feel well, which I know is a good thing. However, it is getting annoying. I am feeling a little better throughout the day, but sleeping is a battle. I struggle getting to sleep and toss and turn a lot. I have become a very light sleeper as well. Bad combination. I continue to go to the bathroom at least 3 times a night!

I read a week by week pregnancy update. At 8 weeks it says: "Baby’s crown to rump length is 12 mm. Baby weighs about 1 gram. Baby’s external ears are forming. Her/His primary or “baby” teeth buds are forming now. Her/His permanent teeth buds will be formed later. Baby’s optic nerve and eye lids are also forming. You can’t feel your baby moving yet but her/his arms and legs are moving now."

Isn't that crazy to think about!!! At the ultrasound (almost a week ago) I was pretty sure I could make out the eyes and arms. Now to think that those arms and legs are moving is just amazing! It is so much fun to imagine and think about all the changes that are taking place. We are praying that the little ones heart continues to beat so he/she continues to grow and develop.

I had my first doctor appointment on Friday, May 29th. The visit was just an initial consultation with the RN. Now let me preface this with saying I left the best OB-GYN and staff when we had to move to Madison. All of our suffering would have been ten times worse if it hadn't been for their support, education and availability. My OB-GYN would call me just to check on me. I told my husband that I would do anything to continue to see him. Unfortunately, the 2 hour drive and the fact that my insurance would not cover them has sort of eliminated that idea. So, I am meeting with this nurse, who was pleasant, but just wasn't what I needed. She was disorganized and a bit cold. Now maybe I am just overreacting (not like that happens during pregnancy at all) but after I left I just felt so uneasy. Hopefully my next appointment on June 10th will go better. I still won't even see the OB-GYN until I am at 12 weeks!!!! So of course, after I left my first appointment, I called my old OB-GYN and spoke with his nurse, Molly. She made me feel so much better!!!!

First Ultrasound Was Today

After a few sleepless nights and an uncomfortable trip to the clinic this morning, we finally had our first ultrasound today. It was the fourth time, I believe, that we have been through that process, but this time was arguably the most stressful for me. I know that Karyn was also very nervous about the appointment. I will let her speak for herself if she decides to write a separate post later.

Our appointment was at 10am and since it was closer to Madison than it was to Stoughton we drove separately to the clinic. We arrived 30 minutes early thinking that paperwork would be required. It was not and we were called into the ultrasound room within minutes of arriving. The technician was very friendly and she kept us informed as she was doing her stuff. I am not going to go into the details since it is probably safe to assume that most people are familiar with how they perform an ultrasound at the 7 week mark of a pregnancy. In any event, even though it was the fourth time I have been in the room looking at the images on the screen, I am still very unsure as to what I am looking at for pretty much the entire time. They look at a variety of different things, they take measurements, and pictures, etc. Eventually she focused in on the uterus where she located and measured the baby. She projected, based on the measurement, that the baby was at 7 weeks and 1 day. You cannot hear the heart beat at this stage of pregnancy but somehow the ultrasound measured the heart rate to be in the 150 bpm range. The technician sounded very optimistic and she quickly said "congratulations you two" as she printed off an image of the baby. After she handed the image to Karyn she exited the room to show the images to the doctor to see if there was anything the doctor saw that could be a concern. By the time the technician left the room I felt myself start to lose the grip I had on my guarded emotions. When the door closed my eyes filled up and I put my head in my hands. It was not a full-blown exhale, but it was a release of emotion that lasted long enough for me to cry a few tears of joy that I had grown somewhat doubtful I would ever get the opportunity to cry.

When you've experienced loss and you're back in a similar position it is difficult to feel anything other than fear. I was scared this morning. More scared than I can ever remember being in my life because I was completely powerless. That is why I remain guarded and cautiously optimistic. I'm still hopeful and positive. You have to be even if you know bad news will crush you. I have to believe that this will be the time for our blessing. Karyn say me tear up and cry. She laid on the bed, strong as ever, and she asked me "are you happy buddy?" I can safely say that I have never been asked an easier question in my life. Yes, I am beyond happy. Yet, each day, each week, each month are small little emotional battlefields that lie ahead.

In closing, all I can say is that today was a good day. I know that I will exhale even more in a few weeks when we pass the mark of our last pregnancy. Then I will exhale a bit more when we get to 12 weeks, then 16, then 20, etc. I'll try to scan and post the ultrasound picture tonight when I get home. I also hope that we can share this news with everyone very soon.

Taking Things for Granted

I tend to travel down the path of self-reflection from time to time. Most often these trips are sparked by an event or circumstance in my life or the life of someone around me. I always realize very soon into my reflection that I take so many things in life for granted. I don't think about the lights turning on, the water coming out of the facet, my car starting, my eyes opening, or that I will always wake up next to my beautiful wife. For the longest time I assumed that being able to start a family was just something that everyone who wanted to was able to do. I know that is naive, but I truly wasn't fully appreciative of the blessing that it is to become a parent.

I have been guilty of holding many faulty views about life and how it is "supposed" to be. I'm not sure if I have ever looked at something so wrongly in my whole life. See, I used to look at life as a series of little battles. Each of the little battles had a dedicated topic and a identifiable goal. The first battle was growing up with a solid education. Then I went off to college to add to that education. A large part of college was preparing me for law school, so when I received my bachelor's degree I parlayed that into a law degree. At that stage the education chapter was closed. However along the way I started on the next battle frontier: marriage. So now I'm an attorney and I'm married, all is well. It had to be time to become a home owner at some point, so that is what we did next. This is when things started to detour from the plan a bit. I'm four years older than Karyn. When I graduated from law school and when we were married she still had three years of school left in year doctorate of physical therapy program. That meant we were each in different phases of our lives. That fact, coupled with my burning desire for knowledge, led me to reenroll in academia to pursue a master's degree in taxation.

My reason for mentioning all of this is to make one small point. I always thought there was a "better time" to start a family. I thought it would be better to wait until we were "settled down." I would routinely answer questions from friends and family with a variation of "we shall see." Then last year happened. I'm not saying that we experienced those losses because we tried to plan our life. I'm just saying that sometimes we need to let go of the wheel and let a higher power guide us home. I am not the most religious man on the planet by any stretch, yet I understand and appreciate the role that God plays in my life. I was angry and hurt for many months last year because I couldn't understand why God would allow us to lose two pregnancies in a span of 5 months. At some point I came to the realization that it wasn't His intent for us to suffer and that He only gave us as much as we could handle. The silver lining was that is provided me with yet another opportunity to appreciate all of the blessings that He has provided me. I do not take life for granted. I do not take love for granted. And I do not take having a child for granted. I believe that it will happen for us this time and when it does I will receive the blessing with open arms.

That reminds me of a poster I saw at the Syttende Mai festival in Stoughton, WI this last weekend. The picture above contains the same passage about the shortness of life. I'm not in the business of telling people how they should look at life, but for my money it is much better to cherish and appreciate all the blessing that we have.

And time marches on

So, it’s been a little while since I've updated. On Tuesday afternoon, I went back in to have my Beta HcG level drawn again. I called the doctors office on Wednesday. After about an hour they called back to let me know my levels are looking great. On Friday, my levels were roughly 800. And on Tuesday, my levels were roughly 7,000!!!!

And, to top that off, I am definitely feeling pregnant. I do not feel well - almost all the time. I don't have nausea but my stomach is uneasy all the time. I have daily sickness, not just morning :) And I know that's a good thing. It means my hormones are changing and preparing for this pregnancy. So I say, bring on the yuckiness!!! Also, I go to the bathroom so many times a day! I used to laugh at how often my husband had to use the bathroom.... no one is laughing now! I get up at least 2-3 times a night. Grrr :)

I told my mom I was pregnant on Wednesday, after I got the good news about my lab values. Because of how early on the pregnancy is, I was really debating waiting to tell her. However, my mom and I are close - very close. And if something goes wrong, I will want her to be able to help me. Even though she and I live far apart now, she will still help.

Now, we play the waiting game. As long as nothing goes array, I will not have any further testing done until the ultrasound, which is scheduled on May 27, 2009. I will be anxiously counting down the days until then. I hope to see that the baby is in the uterus - and not my fallopian tube. I hope to see a heartbeat. I hope we get a due date. I hope we hear everything looks great. I hope I hope I hope....

Cautious Optimism

As you can gather from Karyn's initial post there is great reason to be excited at this time. I am sure that I do not always show how excited or happy that this recent news has made me, but that is more of a defense mechanism than a true representation of my emotion. The year 2008 will always remind me of two things above anything else and they are not things I would wish on anyone. They both related to our attempts to start a family. As Karyn briefly mentioned those attempts ended in heartache. For anyone who has ever experienced the loss of a pregnancy, either through a miscarriage or through an ectopic, you have an understanding of what it was like for us. Unfortunately, we experienced both losses within a five month period.

Yet here we are nearing the middle of 2009 and we have been given another opportunity. It is no doubt still early in the process and we are not close to being ready to tell the world about this great news, but we are hopeful and we are optimistic. Eventually the pain from 2008 will chip away and the joy that 2009 holds will begin to shine brightly. Eventually I will be able to close my eyes and not see the sadness and heartbreak that I saw in my wife's eyes last May.

I have always heard that adversity tends to either bring people together or push them apart. I wish I could say that this adversity always drew Karyn and I together, but that would not be entirely true. We did draw as close as we'd ever been as we grieved the losses. Then over time the grief and sadness turned to doubt and despair as we tried for months to get pregnant without success. At some point in the not so distant past we nearly gave up. Thankfully we kept fighting to stay together. For anyone that knows Karyn and I you could probably guess that our relationship has and always will be interesting. We're both alike and different in so many ways. Yet at the end of the day it is hard to imagine that any couple loves each other as much as we do.

So as we proceed down this path for the third time in 18 months I do so with cautious optimism. In the near future this blog will go "live" and we'll do our best to share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences with anyone who cares to read it. It will be an unguarded look at something usually kept close to the vest. Regardless of the outcome we'll need the love and support of our friends and family as we embark on this tremendous journey.

Good News

On Thursday night, May 7, 2009 I took a pregnancy test after being a little late. The test was positive. My husband and I have been down this road before. Twice to be exact. Both did not end the way we hoped.

Back in December of 2007, I had an ectopic pregnancy. Luckily it was caught early enough, but it ended up being a very long process. I became pregnant shortly following the resolution of the ectopic pregnancy. However, at around 10 weeks, on May 7, 2008 (yes, creepy) I found out I had a miscarriage. While we don't have any answers as to why this happened (which is usually the case) I believe it was at least partly due to the methotrexate injection I was given back in January 2008 in order to resolve the ectopic pregnancy. We'll never know for sure....

Typical emotions after finding out you are pregnant I believe range from pure excitement to pure fear. Unfortunately, because of my history, I have been primarily in the fear category. Don't get me wrong, my husband and I want to have a baby more than anything, its just that once you have had your heart broken you try to be, as my husband says, "cautiously optimistic."

On Friday, May 8, I already had to go in and have labs drawn. I do not know the results yet, but they will primarily be looking at my beta HCG quant levels. I will have repeat lab draws on Tuesday, May 12 in order to compare to Fridays value. Hopefully there will be quite a difference. I will keep you posted!